My Birthday Wish List

This year just like every other, there is a day that signifies the first day that I came into this world and said, “Holy shit, I’m cold!”  Because this is my special day it doubles as the opportunity for me to openly allow my wish list to be explored in case there is any individual wishing to fulfill any or all of my requests.  Since I am not independently wealthy yet I still covet some items and some of these are more useful than others and because of that I will take this in two main sections of things that I require and things that I really really want.

Things I require:

1.  Canon 1DC Cinematic camera.

EOS1DC1This is Canon’s way of showing how a DSLR still frame camera can be integrated with a filmmaking camera that fits cinematic lenses while shooting in 4K.  As a filmmaker I am just like any other profession and I require the tools that will get the job done best so this would be my ideal camera for under $12,000.  The list of pro’s far outweighs the price tag and if you buy this for me I will personally take professional photos of your family every year for the next 10 years and you will be invited to every one of my shoots for the next 5 years including but not limited to a film release party.   I will also make it a point to list you as one of the producers in my next 5 films no matter what.  To sweeten the deal I will let you take 1 selfie with the camera.  Now, how’s that for incentive?

2.  Panasonic GH4 cinematic camera.  So if the price tag of $11,000 dollars for a 1DC seems exorbitant, then there is always the Panasonic GH4.  This is a versatile little package because it actually has adapters that allow you to use Canon, Nikon, and cinematic lenses while shooting in 4K.

gh4For the price this thing can really hang in there with some of the other more impressive and expensive cameras.  At right around $1,700 this is a perfect gift for my 37th birthday.

3.  Mossberg 590A1

Mossberg 590A1

Mossberg 590A1

Quite possibly the best pump shotgun ever, I absolutely require one of these.  With a heavy barrel, aluminum trigger guard, bayonet lug and 9 shot overall capacity, this shotgun was used by the US military for decades because of its ruggedness.  Since I am also a firearm aficionado and family man, this is the perfect fusion of home defense and complete survival.  One of these can be purchased for about $550 and a bayonet for about another $100.  I already have the ammunition and am ready for this wonderful gift, thank you so much!


Things I Want:

1.  Cinematic lenses for my camera.  Since movies require bigger and better cameras the key is to also use bigger and better lenses.  I am not particular, and am willing to accept whatever cinematic lenses that you are willing to purchase for me.  Ideally the Canon 50mm cine lens would be great.

2.  Ruger LCR .357mag.  I don’t have a conceal and carry yet but when I get one I would really like to have one of these on my hip or stuffed into the back of my pants gangster style.  Since this only fits 5 rounds and has a very short barrel, it is not exactly practical so this is more of a want, and since I am registered as a lethal weapon I don’t really need to carry a gun on me (but I do need a Mossberg 590A1 in my home in case I need to defend my entire family).

3.  Barrett M84A1 rifle.  These things are f$cking awesome! Nuff said.


This is by no means a comprehensive list of viable purchase options to show me exactly how important I am to you, but it is always better to run it by me anyway because I might ask you to return it due to “unsuitable status”.  If purchasing one or all of these seems daunting, just go to my paypal account which is  and load me up with as much money as you would like.

Thank you in advance for the wonderful presents and have a great day.

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