Ghostwriter for Hire
Upon initial encounters with individuals, many inquire as to my profession to which I have responded on occasion (in a deep, sullen voice), “Ghostwriter.” This moniker however, is a false representation of the range of my services. Ghostwriters are typically responsible for taking someone’s brain child and artistically transposing it to words on paper. Essentially a ghost writer is the person you hire to write your story if you have a great idea and lots of money, or don’t believe you can write it yourself.
A professional writer is an even broader spectrum of capabilities and could mean grant writing, copywriting, script writing, and even a writer of letters and such. While many of these are niche markets in and of themselves it still doesn’t define what I do. What about, “Creative Writing Consultant?” That’s still a little broad, but sure, that’ll have to do for now.
1. Ghost writer- I can do the typical job of searching for souls to collect for the devil while consumed in flames and riding the coolest chopper ever. Wait, I can work closely with you on your ideas and help develop them into a cohesive and interesting book or I can coach you through the entire process. Writing the book for you is a little costly while the second option is much more cost effective if you have any confidence about your writing skills and more-so, my ability to coach you. If every minute of your life has been super cool and you want to share with the public how rock star you really are, I can help you determine which of your 257,482 life stories to keep and which ones to omit. If you are working on the next Harry Potter style series, I can totally help you develop the story, the landscape and even help create some stupid Jar Jar Binks type character if you so desire. Remember, this is your story and I’m certainly not judgmental enough to tell you that your book is not a good idea. Every person has great stories and may just need a little help.
2. Script writer- I have worked with a Hollywood producer/director on developing a couple stories from beginning to end in an extremely precise manner. This is storytelling in 3D because you have to see the vision to create the vision and some writers fall short in the descriptive category. When I am writing, my mind thinks in “Movie” so the details are vivid. Let’s get your movie rolling and if you want to hire me to shoot it, I do that as well.
3. Web Content Writer- Let’s face it, sometimes you go to a website and say, “I don’t understand what this site is about and I cannot move my mouse over the ‘get me away from this site’ button fast enough.” If you have a website and actually want people to read the words and keep clicking to other words contained within the confines of your site, then you need some zesty writing. Sure, we kind of need to know what you do but nobody really cares what you do or your background unless you tell us what we are going to get from you. That’s where I come in. Between interviewing you and doing some research, I can tailor some really awesome web pages for your site that not only make people interested in what they are going to receive from you, but keep them clicking around and maybe even buy some of your widgets.
4. Creative Writing Consultant- Involves all of the above except I coach you to do the writing. That’s right, you got this and it starts with an idea, continues with hiring me to help you through the process and ends with a finished product that you can be proud of. Then, I can put my name on one of first 20 or so worthless pages in the beginning of the book that nobody reads including 5 or 6 pages that repeat the title and 10 additional pages of forewords, prefaces, preambles and other stuff to make the book look legit.
I hope this has totally confused you so that you have to contact me to find out what the hell I really do. Seriously though, if you are reading this it is probably because you were searching for some type of writer and found my site. I am open for projects and have flexible payment plans of gold medallions, first born children, and cash in some cases. Call or email right now so I can tell you how wonderful your project is and how absolutely excited I am to get started.
Philip Mackey Valentina